Thursday, July 3, 2008

I ♥ Breastfeeding...

Mother's love.

Before I ever even found out I was pregnant I was sure of one thing, I wanted to breastfeed! Once I found out I was pregnant I researched it even more and was totally confident that was the way I wanted to go! I didn't know how long I wanted to do it, but I knew I wanted to. When I had Deacon and we began our 'nursing relationship' I have to admit that it was very hard and there were times that I wanted to give up...(oohh the pain). The pain went away and when it was gone I had the joy of knowing that every bit of nourishment my child was receiving was coming straight from me, his mommy. How amazing is that? How awesome that God designed us to be able to provide nourishment for our babies! I love nursing, I love the bond it has created with Deacon and I. I love that nobody in the world will ever have that with him. Its a special time for us to relax and enjoy each other. My world can be totally chaotic, and sometimes all I need to do is take a breather and sit down and nurse my baby. Now I am feeling that it all has to end and I am so full of emotion I feel like I can't breathe.

I have loved the convenience of nursing. If Deacon was hungry I could offer him something to fill him up. Now that he is older and is eating big boy food, he doesn't just rely on me anymore and it's nice sometimes, but still hard. Every day I have to figure out what I am going to feed my baby and how much, and is this healthy, etc. I am really going to miss the days of just sitting down and knowing that everything my baby needed he was getting from me.

A few weeks ago I started to give Deacon some whole milk. He had a tough time figuring out the sippy cups, but I finally found a cup he is able to drink from. Once he really got the chance to taste cows milk he seemed to like it. I was happy and sad at the same time. I don't want to be replaced...sniff sniff.

Weaning... wow I never thought this time would come so fast, and I have no idea how I am going to stop. I have read through my nursing books and when I read them I just shake and am so full of emotion that I can't even cry. I don't know what my problem is besides that I am just scared to stop. Then I think, why do I have to? Who is telling me that I have to? Nobody really, I guess I had decided myself that I would stop nursing when Deacon was a year old. I just never knew how hard it would be.

When I took him to his 1 year well baby check I asked the Dr. about stopping and he told me to just stop one feeding every three days and within a week I should be able to completely stop, ha - yeah right, easy for him to say. I have done this every single day since Deacon was born. This is what we know. How do you just stop? I sit and nurse my baby and I can look down at his sweet face looking up at me and I know I am the only one that can provide him with this satisfaction, how do you stop something so special?

Nursing my baby has been one of the greatest things I have ever done, and with every day that passes I am one day closer to stopping :( I am so thankful to God that I have been able to to do this, and for so long, but when it comes to stopping...I need help, I don't know if I can do it. I kind of wish that it would be his choice and not mine. I read about babies just losing interest in nursing. Although that would probably make me sad, I think it would be easier. The pain of stopping scares me too.

Any advice will be greatly appreciated.

8 comments:

Rebecca Tresler said...

I love breastfeeding too, and I never even wanted to do it! Going for a full year with Jaden was big to me because I always felt like I needed to stop. But with Jackson, he is 15 1/2 months old and still nursing twice a day. Neither one of us is ready and I dont think we will stop for a little while unless he suddenly decides to. We are ok with things and aren't bothering anyone so its all good in the hood. haha

Listen to your heart, do what feels right for you and your family. If you do decide its time to stop, do a distraction at one feeding gradually until that one is done and then do another distraction at the next feeding to give up. Slowly ease it away.

I'm here if you need any advice or whatev! :) I know we talked about it before. Its hard being a mommy and figuring things out, especially for the first time. Breastfeeding has been the greatest thing I have done as a mommy and for you to have done a year is so fantastic!!

Swasey family said...

Im sure it is hard, I HAD to stop with the boys at 6 weeks, it turned out I was only getting 1 hour of sleep at night BF.and I was sad, but then came the bottle and that was so nice I got up with thtem and rocked them back to sleep and gave bottles about 4-5 a night that was alittle nicer, and then sippy cups...The boys loved them, I think cause I kept calling them Big Boy cups.You'll be fine!I promise he is still oyur little baby, and will need you for a long, long time.Pray about it, and see how you feel.Love ya cousin!!

Katie said...

I just stumbled across your blog and I'm so glad I did. My son just turned one on June 18 and we are still breastfeeding. Just like you, I feel that BF has been a wonderful way to create a bond, sense of trust, and is the ultimate and most natural source of nourishment. If the thought of weaning breaks your heart and doesn't seem to be the best plan for your family at this time, then by all means-- keep nursing! :)

I'm not sure what your reasoning behind stopping is, but remember that nursing is primarily about your son, and secondly about you and your husband.

Perhaps you could still nurse your son at night before bed for awhile and see how that goes for you both. This really is a difficult decision, but I'm sure you'll do what you think is best for your family.

Personally, I plan to nurse indefinately. Although, I don't think we'll be nursing until age 3, 4 or 5 either. :) I'm most likely avoiding weaning Bryce because I work full-time and it kills me to be away from him so much. I guess I'm just holding on to nursing because I know the milk has great immune-boosting properties, as well as other benefits for us both, and because I don't want to loose our special time together. Also, he really loves "the girls!" Ha!

Breast wishes!

Anonymous said...

I set myself the same time limit, one and we are done! It is easier now that he is on whle milk, and he still needs me just as much! I cried about it to! when Hunter and I stopped, I mean i CRIED! But what worked for us was one feeding gone for a week. So one week, he no longer got it in the morning, for the whole week. Then next week was lunch, then the last week was night time.

At first he did not drink as much as he nursed. But it takes time. And he sometimes only drinks one cup a day. But he eats like a cow! It takes time, and strength! He will want to but, if you want to stop, then be strong, it pays off I am swear!Its great cuz he can really let me know whe he wants his milk, by going to the fridge. Its wonderful. But do what you feel is right.

We gave in one time. it was when we had completely stopped nursing. It was three days of no nursing at all. And I ached, and I gave in. he nursed both sides for like 45 mintues each! Then he never nursed again. It was like he was done after his last run! hehe.

But do what YOU want and need to Do, Deacon will follow and it wont affect him at all.Its harder on you then him.

If you ahve any questions Zanes Mom is a lactaion specialist and I can ask her anything for you!

There will always be number two to do this all over again with, The only real bummer is that my monthly "JOY" returned once I stopped. So that was a stinker!

Suzanne D

LeVander Family said...

I am so proud of you! I had to stop at about 7 months with Ryland because of some medication my Dr. had to finally put me on, that baby couldn't have:( I was so sad, and had a really hard time with it because I felt like I was letting him down! I very quickly realized it wasn't the milk he wanted the most, it was the comfort of his mommy! I take the time to hold him close and give him his bottle a few times a day. It helps me still feel that conection, and I would like to think it helps him too?!
Good luck mama!

lindsay edmonds said...

Melissa, thought I would just let you know...I am still breastfeeding Karis at 14 months and we are pregnant with the second, as you know. I figure I don't want to stop as long as I have milk and she wants to nurse. Every morning she wakes up she will start crying and pulling on my shirt. How can I refuse? Even though she is eating 3 meals a day, she is also nursing around 4 times. I wouldn't feel pressured to stop. Take your time...

Julie said...

I just stumbled upon your blog and got all teary when I read this post. I told myself I would stop nursing my son when he turned one, but as that birthday approached, I just couldn't do it. Gradually we got it down to just once a day before bedtime. At 19 months, he decided we were finished. One evening he nursed just a tiny bit and then pulled my shirt down to cover me up. That was the last time.

JadeMerie said...

Thanks for the comment.

I just wanted to add my two cents in here. My daughter is 21 months old and I'm still nursing her. Breastfeeding is so wonderful and I honestly feel that she still isn't ready to be weened. My son is almost 3 months old and it's a wonderful bond that all three of us can share.

The World Health Organization recommends that you breastfeed until at least 2, and even further (as long as both mommy and baby want to continue).

You need to listen to your heart and pray about it. If you feel there is any reason that you shouldn't stop, then keep on breast feeding!